Reciprocity of Relationships

What sets humans apart from other species is their ability to analyze, judge and take a conscious thoughtful decision. Humans have a control over their mind and hence can vary or tune the levels of emotions that they have towards people and objects around them.

There are various types of relationships that we humans build with both non-humans (animals and plants)  and other fellow humans.

Let’s understand them one by one. First would be the relationship between man and the living. For the sake of ease, let us take an example of pets. This relationship is very fulfilling to humans. Pets would be there to support us in the times of our need and provide emotional and mental support by their mere presence. Pets have also proved to be a great catalyst in developing positive personality traits and helping in various physical and mental ailments. They are there to play with you and lend their ears to listen to the problems in a nonjudgmental way, a punching bag to vent out all the frustrations arising out of the day’s work and in return would communicate their love and support to their companion non-verbally.  It seems words ruin what could be best expressed without them.

Another relationship would be the one between the living and the non-living beings. I have intentionally used the term “nonliving beings” here as I am including the relationship between humans and the divine (God, as per Hindu religion) as well. We humans are capable of converting a stone lying on the road into God with our faith. It is all in our mind’s capability to look at a stone and love and worship it as God or bring it home and carve a weapon/article out of it. In the case wherein we have faith and turn the stone into a God, we aren’t expecting the stone to love us back but we are sure that it does. The reciprocity is not expected in any form but is assumed to be there. This faith keeps the spark of hope alive and we move on in life. They say that faith can move mountains and we humans have exhibited that capacity as well.

There is another category of attachment that we have with numerous things that are a part of our daily lives and consciously or unconsciously become an integral part of our identity, These would include everything  from the city and the house we live in, to the room where we have spent quite some time, the chair we use on daily basis, favorite clothes that we wear, pen that we use etc. We tend to become possessive about them. This relationship is a one sided love affair. We wouldn’t want anyone else to use our belongings as we have attached so much value to it, however,those things wouldn’t mind being used by anyone else.( assumed as science has proved that they don’t have emotions) .

The interesting part to note here is that these emotions are built with things which have memories attached to them. The attachment for a new car is incomparable to an old one in which one has had great times with the closed ones and also had many life changing incidents.  These objects carry the insignia of the person attached.

When it comes to the relationship amongst humans things change. The expectations come into the picture. I see nothing wrong in that as it is based on the fact that the other person is also human and capable of expressing and attaching to another human emotionally.

Sometimes we need to treat the other human as that loving pet who would be there and support us unconditionally. But the question is that are we capable of being the same for someone?

Sometimes we need to understand that some relationships are like the one between a man and his favorite pen. The attachment is immense and there are no expectations from the pen than to function as it is designed to. The pen also keeps its commitment till its life without any amendments, expectations.   Do we have the intention to become that pen for somebody?  

The last being the full fledged complex relationship between two humans wherein there are multiple factors playing in including love, hatred, acceptability, desires, expectations, loyalty, jealousy, possessiveness, obsession, happiness etc. 

It depends on person to person as to how is one treating the relationship. Is it devotion which is intrinsically unconditional and void of expectations and goes beyond the boundaries of self? Or is it the one wherein there is an immense attachment but there are terms and conditions that it is valid till the time when the other person behaves as per pre-set norms.

And the last one is like a thunderstorm or a roller coaster ride. Are you ready for ups and swings and highs and lows trying to match between the crests and troughs!!